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The perfect Husband posted on March 9, 2010 - 4:29pm
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party.He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!
Disorder in American courts posted on March 9, 2010 - 9:47am
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.?? ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"? ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?? WITNESS: My name is Susan!? ??ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Dolce and Gabbana ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?? WITNESS: No, I just lie there ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?? WITNESS: Yes.? TTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?? WITNESS: I forget.? ATTORNEY: You forget?
Diagnosed with AAADD posted on March 9, 2010 - 9:34am
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!! Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, Put the junk mail in the waste basket under the table, And notice that the basket is full. So, I decide to put the bills back On the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, Since I'm going to be near the mailbox When I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, And see that there is only one cheque left.
Kyoka Men!!!!!! posted on March 8, 2010 - 6:02pm
If you TREAT him nicely, he will say you are IN LOVE with him; If you Don't, he will say you are PROUD. If you DRESS nicely, he will say you are trying to LURE him (and others!); If you don’t, he will say you are a tramp and cheap. If you ARGUE with him, he will say you are STUBBORN; If you keep QUIET, he will say you have no BRAINS. If you are SMARTER than him, he loses FACE; If he's Smarter than you, he is GREAT. If you don't love him, he will try to CONTROL and POSSESS you; If you love him, he will TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED. If you tell him your PROBLEM, he will say you are TROUBLESOME; If you don't, he will say that you don't TRUST him. If you SCOLD him, you are like a NANNY to him and remind him of his mother; If he SCOLDS you, it is because he CARES for and LOVES you. If you BREAK your PROMISE, you cannot be TRUSTED; If he BREAKS his, he was FORCED to do so. If you SMOKE, you are BAD girl; If he SMOKES, he is a GENTLEMAN.
Guest Lecturing Third Years posted on March 7, 2010 - 2:42pm
Dr Werkman, Grace and Ali after the lectureI am an active board member of OnFile, an immigrant Writers and Journalists Association based in Amsterdam. We carry out several activities including mentoring, publishing a magazine, trainings and cafes among many other things. When the Windescheim School of Media contacted OnFile to provide a guest lecturer on Media Coverage in Africa specializing in South Africa, I was an automatic choice. Grace Akeba, an immigrant Cameroonian journalist was identified to talk about Ghana. Mirjam Wulff, the project coordinator of Beyond Your World at Lokaal Mondiaal sent us an email with detailed information over the exercise. She explained that Lokaal mondiaal organizes an international exchange program called Beyond (y)our World. As part of this program Dutch students of Journalism participate in courses and workshops on international cooperation, intercultural communication, developing countries, environmental issues and journalism.
Don't copy if you can't paste posted on March 6, 2010 - 3:09pm
Not too long ago, a large seminar was held for ministers and reverendsin training. Among the facilitators were many well-known motivationalspeakers. One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and, gatheringthe entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life werespent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "That woman was mymother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which waswell received.About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminardecided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached thepulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. Itwas a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "Thegreatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was notmy wife!"His congregation sat shocked, murmuring.
Parenting made easy? posted on March 6, 2010 - 2:14am
You know you are getting old when...! Saturday, a close friend of mine invited me to give a keynote address on parenting. And eh eh...of all people! I realized I was one of the elders. I am one of those Ugandans who has children in the Netherlands. My friend, Christine van de Pluijm had become a grandmother for the fourth time. The function took place in Amsterdam South East at Ganzenhoef near the Metro Station. Her son Felix van de Pluijm and his girlfriend, Urunela from Croatia had on 26 January 2010 had a baby girl they named Esther Akello. It was as if they were commemorating the NRM day by appropriately calling the baby Esther, the late Museveni’s mother’s name. The moderator was the evergreen Iris Shiripinda. She made the function memorable by her hilarious quips. The function was supposed to start at 6.00pm, but due to logistical problems started much later. Ibra Ndaula and myself were on time, but because the event was yet to begin, went away to attend to other duties.
Kyeyo (Cleaners') strike at Amsterdam central station posted on March 6, 2010 - 12:43am
Kyeyo strike posted on March 5, 2010 - 11:24pm
Today, Friday March 05, I was suprised to find Amsterdam central station all messy. every other corner and dustbin was filled to the brim with garbage. On asking, I was told cleaners had gone on strike over better working conditions. Here below, I bring you some photos of the mess.
The Dollar Message posted on March 5, 2010 - 1:29am
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"Hands started going up.He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let medo this. He proceeded to crumple the $20 dollar bill up. He thenasked, "Who still wants it?"Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, "What if I dothis?"And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into thefloor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now,who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it didnot decrease in value. It was still worth $20.Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground intothe dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come ourway.We feel as though we are worthless.